I know... This relationship was slow moving in the beginning because I really didn't want to be consumed by a relationship. I had spent the last 5 years prior working on myself. He's lowered my sense of self worth, but I understand it's because I've allowed him to.
I care deeply about him. I would be crushed but maybe I'd be relieved the crazy was over. He brings out the bad in me. I have no sercurity, while he has a great deal of it. I've gotta get to that point... My breaking point, and that's really a shame. The mind games, whether intiniual or not, have gradually altered me. My anxiety is so high, even on antidepressants... It's a constant state of worry for his well being, and my security in this messed up thing. Maybe I'd benefit from meetings. This is my 3rd relationship with an addict.. All supposedly clean when it began... I should have ran in the beginning... There were red flags I ignored.