Thanks for the replies. I'm going through a lot of emotions and thinking.
He hasn't had a day off work this year until now, and I can already see that tonight he reactivated his online dating profile... He did confess before, while crying that he was using new people as a method to get high. While if he was only talking to these woman, it wouldn't be too big of a deal but I suspect that he's being unfaithful. He can't spend 1 minute alone. I know he deleted all the numbers out if his phone, he's been depressed since.
I can deal with a lot but the cheating gets me the most. I need more self esteem because although I realize it'd be a blessing for him to find someone else, it'd crush me. I often wonder if he's looking for someone to replace me or just a thrill.