I am sorry about your situation.
I think you need to get sober before you decide anything about your relationship.
First things first. Sober first, all else can wait.
Originally Posted by
Mrrryah1 
I thought god only gave us as much as we could handle...
I have heard that God give us more than we can handle to draw us closer to him. Have you tried prayer?
Nothing fancy, no special prayer or grabbing a bible.
Just plain ole "God help me"