Notices

Another awesome thing.

Old 01-15-2015, 09:29 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 809
Unhappy Another awesome thing.

I was on my fiance's ipad last night and found messages where he was sending pictures of himself/inquiring about other women....

To add to my emotional distress of this week so far.

Now I have to think about whether this I need to break off my engagement and leave my relationship too? Seriously?

I thought god only gave us as much as we could handle......... I think he might have the wrong person, because I'm about to cave here.

Ugh.
Mrrryah1 is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 09:32 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,951
sending love and hugs to you
sugarbear1 is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 09:34 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,775
I am so very sorry, Mrrryah. That is a tough blow to your heart and your self-esteem.

Please don't drink or drug over this. Call your sponsor right away; get to a meeting.

Please pick up the phone to call your sponsor now.
SoberLeigh is online now  
Old 01-15-2015, 09:36 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
GracieLou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
I am sorry about your situation.

I think you need to get sober before you decide anything about your relationship.

First things first. Sober first, all else can wait.

Originally Posted by Mrrryah1 View Post
I thought god only gave us as much as we could handle...
I have heard that God give us more than we can handle to draw us closer to him. Have you tried prayer?

Nothing fancy, no special prayer or grabbing a bible.

Just plain ole "God help me"
GracieLou is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 09:45 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Very sorry he's hurt you like this. Never a "good" time to find out something like this.

I remember when my mom died, and I began to grieve... my boyfriend of six years shared his opinion with me that I was being selfish in my grief. Talk about feeling gutted... at that point, it gave me just enough strength to end that abusive alcohol-sodden relationship.

Sometimes, it's not a bad thing for these events to cluster-bomb us, because it can give us ironic strength.
Soberpotamus is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 09:57 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi Mrrryah im so sorry this has happened have you got a gf that can come over or can you go a trusted friends house ?

Dont even let this throw you off course he aint worth self destructing over forget this person Mrrryah

i know it as easy as that but you got to drop this person

Sending a billion hugs M

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

A breathing exercise that calms panic attacks.
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 10:18 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
aasharon90's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,201
I often remind myself that God won't
give my anymore than I can handle
even if it gets rough. The most important
thing to remember is that He wants me
to remain sober doing whatever I need
to do.

I also have to remember that whatever
He wants me to have, it will come in His
time and not mine as much as I would
cry, whin, pout, throw tantrums.

And believe me I have gone thru many
situation thru out my recovery but still
continue to turn it over to Him.

You may not know or believe He hears
your cries for help or despair, but He
does.

There are many things in our life that
may not seem fair. However the most
important thing is for us to do what is
right. To keep our side of the street clean.
To be kind, caring, understanding etc.
for ourselves.

As I continue on my path in recovery
sharing my own ESH - experiences,
strengths and hopes with others then
I believe I will be taken care of. It may
not always be what I want, but I have
to believe it is what He wants for me,
which is better.

Stay on course with your recovery,
learning, changing, growing into the
person you are meant to me.

Kind, loving, considerate, caring,
sober and good things will come to
you.
aasharon90 is online now  
Old 01-15-2015, 10:24 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 5,700
Sorry to read about what you're going through. Yes, it's been a tough week, but you have lots of support here. Anyone you can talk to face to face?
Gonnachange is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 10:24 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
soberclover's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I, too, am sorry that you have to go through this. Perhaps it is good that you find out now about what is going on rather than after you are married. Drinking really will make this matter worse; I'm sending you lots of positive thoughts!
soberclover is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 10:34 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jupiters's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
Originally Posted by SoberJennie View Post

Sometimes, it's not a bad thing for these events to cluster-bomb us, because it can give us ironic strength.
too true!
Jupiters is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 10:44 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Foolsgold186's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 780
Sorry for what your going through.

Don't allow his actions to be detrimental to yours. No one is worth that.
Foolsgold186 is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 11:30 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
bunnezjp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
Sometimes God shows us what we need to see.

Bunnez
bunnezjp is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 11:36 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Standing~4~My~5's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 160
You may not see this right now but it's a blessing to find out now than when the vows have all been said at the altar. Sweetheart, I'm speaking from experience here. Not a good time for this to happen when you just lost someone so close to you. But YOU are worth staying sober ! Stay strong ,my heart goes out to you! In my experience I suggest break it off but hold tight to your sobriety!
Standing~4~My~5 is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 11:38 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kris47's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Myrrryah,

Just don't pick up the first drink. You are worth more than that. You will find all you need in your life of sobriety. Just take it one day at a time. You are worth so much. It's not about him at all. It's about the beautiful person you can be. Pray and know we're here for you. Big hug.
Kris47 is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 11:45 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 809
Well over the last few hours I've changed my perspective on things.

a) Things could be alot worse. I could be Brennan. I could be Brennan's mom, or sister. I have my health - I have friends and family and a snuggly puppy dog that care about me. I have some money in the bank. I have a good paying job. I didn't kill myself or anyone else in my drinking career (yet) and I certainly should have numerous times.

So I lost a close friend and my fiance is screwing around. Yeah - it's a crap week. But I should be grateful for the things I do have, because in reality my life is not that bad.

b) An interesting realization I've come to.... I actually don't really want to drink/use. It's not the bad times that cause me to drink/use since I've been trying to get sober - it's actually the good times.

It's when everything starts going good in my life that I start to question whether I might be able to control my drinking.

I'm actually OK being sober through this. In a wierd way, it feels good to feel SO much, even if those feelings are bad.

And for today - based on what I am feeling - I'm pretty sure I'm safe from picking up a drink or a drug. So I should be grateful for that.

Thanks all for your continued support and love.

Mrrr.
Mrrryah1 is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 11:47 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 374
Big hugs to you. Stay sober, and strong. Does he know you saw the posts? What a ****** feeling being blindsided. I am so sorry.
Ellay is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 12:04 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,328
Originally Posted by Mrrryah1 View Post
I was on my fiance's ipad last night and found messages where he was sending pictures of himself/inquiring about other women....
.
Mrryah, what is there to think about? Move on and find someone who respects you.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.
Anna is online now  
Old 01-15-2015, 12:05 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Somewhere on the East Coast
Posts: 579
Hi Mrrryah -- big hugs to you girl. I'm glad to see your 2nd post -- finding gratitude when things are tough is so hard, so good of you to get that down in writing so you can go back to it when/if you need.

I wish I had more helpful things to say, but thinking about you and I know you're going to get through this.
Lola23 is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 12:32 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kris47's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
You just need to look for the good things in life. Looks like you're on your way!

You are worthy of all good things. Period.
Kris47 is offline  
Old 01-15-2015, 01:12 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Notmyrealname's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
That sucks. I guess it is better to know now than learn about it three months past nuptials, though (so there's a . . dirty, gray, smudged "silver lining", if you think about it . .)
Notmyrealname is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:42 AM.