Yes. They really do twist everything in their heads to make them the victim. They really DO believe the crap they make up, their lies and their own BS.
Until they really work their 4 step thoroughly it doesn't change and even then if they don't honestly work it all the way through, it doesn't change.
I know your icky feeling, and all I can say, is it sounds like you have worked hard to move forward. Don't let this blip throw you off and don't put a lot of thought into it. There is always a game of manipulation involved. XBF asks BF to talk to him. Then unloads a victimized statement, fully expecting your BF to relay message back to you. Then since you didn't codie up and contact him, he text BF and released the blame on him.
Man, it is so simple to see clearly into things when your not emotionally involved but for my own relationship I should have took my own advice there about 5 years ago. Lol.
As much as they suffer, so do we & sometimes I think it is way harder on us to stay on track. For them to heal, they must choose to be better, choose a program, work it, then abstain. THEY get to make the choice to abstain.
For us, we can choose to get better, work a program, choose to abstain, but our choice is somewhat limited, because you just never know when you will be blindsided by seeing them, having them contact you, or having a very well meaning friend relay info such as this.
My BFF text me this morning and told me where she seen the XRAH truck parked. I know she means well, but honestly this morning I had a good vibe going on, then the text, and now I feel icky.
Hang tough Girl. Its all his to own & you got a fabulous life to live!