None of us here can stop you from drinking, that's true.
I use the people here on SR as inspiration. I also am active on the Gratitude threads. There is evidence that keeping a gratitude journal leads to positive change.
I hope you decide to pour out the rest.
All I can say is that my life has gotten better since I quit. I won't go back to drinking because of what it did to my cognition, emotions, body, relationships, and my ambition and discipline to write.
There must be reasons why you quit drinking before. There must be benefits that you're choosing to ignore now.