I would love to believe that he is just a drug addict, but something tells me there is more lurking there.
Perhaps. But from your perspective, does it matter? The addiction part of it is bad enough.
I guess I'm being emotionally manipulated. Anytime I try to end this or step back, I find myself having to build up someone I'm afraid is going to off themselves.
Yeah, the suicide card. That's his trump card. When all else fails, he'll play that card, knowing that 99 times out of 100, it'll work. But the only reason why that works is because you allow it to work. You're choosing to be held hostage by him.
I'd like to say it's just manipulation, but I had a friend who's boyfriend blew his head off in front of her... so I know it happens.
Sure, it
can happen. I could also be hit by a train tomorrow on my way to work, win the lottery, or have a supermodel fall in love with me. All are what I consider low probability events. Mind you, I'm not saying you shouldn't take such a threat seriously. What I am saying is if he plays that card while you're on the phone with him, call 911 and let him explain to the cops/paramedics/whoever that he didn't mean it. That's probably what'd he do.
I like to tell people such as yourself that you have choices every day. And when you're ready to make the right choices for you, you will. Outside looking in, choosing to remove him from your life and then riding out the ensuing emotional storm (which will suck) is likely the best choice for you. How do you feel about that?