I appreciate the help and support everyone. I wish this was a boat I was alone in, but as you probably know, it's also comforting to know that other people can relate to how you feel. I know this relationship has become more and more toxic, and it's best that I just call it quits before I completely lose my mind. I just haven't hit the wall yet. :-/
I was in a four year relationship with a drug addict 10 to 15 years ago with my son's father. Even during the lies, stealing, cheating, etc... He never lacked total empathy or remorse for his wrong doing once the high wore off. I told myself I'd never get involved with someone like that again... now here I am, eating my own words.
I feel like I was presented with a book with the most glorious cover, only to find total crap and fluff on the inside... yet always reading more, hoping it will get better.
I would love to believe that he is just a drug addict, but something tells me there is more lurking there. It's very upsetting that someone you care about is an addict, but to think the worse, that he is both is killing me. I guess because I know that it's even more hopeless of a situation.
I guess I'm being emotionally manipulated. Anytime I try to end this or step back, I find myself having to build up someone I'm afraid is going to off themselves. Is it just emotional manipulation, or would he do it? I'd like to say it's just manipulation, but I had a friend who's boyfriend blew his head off in front of her... so I know it happens.
He's extremely depressed right now. Is that something a drug addict would go through after confronted about wrongful doing, then admitting they have a problem? I don't know if he's disappointed in himself or mourning the lost of supply via girls and drugs. I'm a little scare he isn't stable with emotions right now to any degree...