I grew up with an alcoholic father. Alcoholism stole my childhood. As soon as I realised in my forties that I was heading that way I kicked my own arse hard and stopped as I did not want to steel my children's childhood away from them. Your baby has just one chance at being a little girl and enjoying her childhood. If you take this away from her, and you will if you carry on, she is likely to carry a lot of hurt around forever. If you can't do it for yourself then at least have the decency to protect the one little life that you have brought into this world and give her the childhood that she deserves. Seek help today!