Welcome artman...Keep coming back. I agree with Savana, great to have A's on here that care.
Might I ask, do you have some loving enjoyable times or is this 24/7 war????
In my opinion we wives miss the chaos (pretty sad, but happens) Then we are caretakers, another sad thing, so she was takeing care of you perhaps and taking care of everything else and running everything perhaps. lots of roles to give up or unlearn. We wives have lost our full time jobs. (that we had such fun resenting) (THIS SAID WITH LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING AND LAUGH WITH EACH OTHER, BUT WE HURT SO BAD IT WASN'T FUN AT THE TIME)
Perhaps I am off base but that is sorta my take on some situations.
Always exceptions, just wanted to give you something to think about so you can think of things to try..
Most of us would welcome going to counceling with our A. Have you tried that???
Wonderful you are going to Al-Anon to learn all you can, have you taken her to open AA meetings??? You do go to AA?? Also as someone said, take her along to Al-Anon.
Keep coming back here as we care very much.but have you posted on AA site here at SR??
I feel both programs are excellent for every human, we were never taught how to live, or be married or how to raise childern when we were ready to learn.
Best for you both always clancy46