The funny thing is - we care for each, he just needs the support to be instilled quicker (He wont go to AA due similar concerns re location).
He hasn't lied or hid his drinking to me - he admits bills come first & said he would reduce if it gets tight. He knows what he is doing to himself & I will be there for him.
My golden rules are if he ever stole or hit me in anger he will be out.