Originally Posted by
Shimmering 
Day 8 - feels great! I’m very grateful to be 8 days sober again after my relapse. Very glad the worst withdrawals seem to be over. I’m thinking a lot about why I relapsed and what I can do differently this time around.
I see now that control is a huge issue for me. I had a traumatic childhood and the last few years have been filled with deaths, trauma and bad news. So I guess I’ve been trying to cope by being a hard core control freak.
So, I have two things I’m thinking about.
How can I start trusting that things will work out without me trying desperately to control outcomes?
I feel very suspicious towards the concept of a Higher Power/the Universe/God, I guess because all of the bad things that have happened. I would like to overcome this but don’t know how.
I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, but I would appreciate any thoughts! Have a great sober weekend everyone!
Good thread!
IF you are desirous of conscious contact with a HP, perhaps consider at first simple - mechanical prayers; thy will be done, help me to understand etc.
Heard a speaker told by a sponsor to use two prayers at first: Upon awakening - he prayed " Whatever". (bring it on so to speak)
At night before falling asleep the prayer was " Enough".
Earl Hightower - maybe check him out on youtube. Well known guy in AA circles.
Glad you're here, keep working and posting - He's there, you'll find Him is you seek and want to.........