Originally Posted by
lolitalola 
What is wrong with me. Is it that he doesn't drink daily and its easy to ignore the in between stuff. Its getting worse though this last month. He has only not drank a couple of times.
I know that he is drinking while I am at work. I am starting to get scared to talk about it knowing he will get nasty. I just told him that its because of the drink and he said I am mad and boring and making things up. He said he is done with me. He always puts me down when he has had a ccertain amount. .and I am still here.
There is no al anon near me since we moved. We have a vacation coming up next week which I am dreading. I can't stop crying. I need something to read to help me. Why am I such an idiot.
Hubby had a drink last week (only one so I felt boundary was a bit extreme, but, hey, my first boundary and I stuck to it) and I opted out of the vacation this weekend at my favorite place rather than go through the angst of whether he would be drinking or not. He wasn't a happy camper. He did decide to go anyway so I got my vacation here at home which has me just as happy. If he drinks? Well, thats his choice. I won't be there to watch and he will have to deal with it on his own.
If the vacation is worrying you think about what you need. When there is no consequence for bad behavior there is no reason to own up to it.