Originally Posted by
Shimmering 
Day 8 - feels great! I’m very grateful to be 8 days sober again after my relapse. Very glad the worst withdrawals seem to be over. I’m thinking a lot about why I relapsed and what I can do differently this time around.
I see now that control is a huge issue for me. I had a traumatic childhood and the last few years have been filled with deaths, trauma and bad news. So I guess I’ve been trying to cope by being a hard core control freak.
So, I have two things I’m thinking about.
How can I start trusting that things will work out without me trying desperately to control outcomes?
I feel very suspicious towards the concept of a Higher Power/the Universe/God, I guess because all of the bad things that have happened. I would like to overcome this but don’t know how.
I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, but I would appreciate any thoughts! Have a great sober weekend everyone!
Hi Shimmering,
Well done on day 8 - brilliant.
When I first got sober I really expected things to be handed to me, life would miraculously be better now that drink was no longer in the equation. I quickly learned that for my life to work the way I wanted it to I had to work my ass off. When I felt I wanted a drink I went to a meeting or came on SR, when I felt low, I went for a jog or spoke to someone. Everyday I have to work for my life to be how I want it.
My destiny is in my hands, my happiness comes from me. You have to have faith in yourself.
Really wishing you well.