I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. I hate when I'm feeling stuck like that and can't get a handle on it.
Sometimes when I need to refocus and also 'need something to read' as you said I go through the stickies at the top of the page. I also have found myself focusing on Step 1 lately and reading through what I find on that subject in the two one day at a time books I have from Al anon. I do think a meeting works better for me but sometimes can't get there.
It's good to let ourselves sit with our feelings and acknowledge them. I just find that I can occasionally end up not just sitting but wallowing - that's when it's time to change tactics and step back in a healthy way - reframe the brain.
Hope today is a better day for you...did you check out the daily post that honeypig puts up from the Language of Letting Go? I check that out every day
((hugs))