Hugs to you.... I know that you are heartbroken. I know it. I've been there. I remember the night that my then-really new, amazing bf dropped a very similar bomb on me. He stayed where he was to rehab so I stayed in his life to support him. He will tell you to this day that I helped save his life. I question really who did I save? I didn't save him. He beat a very ugly drug addition but went on to develop an uglier alcohol addiction. Our marriage will officially be over next month. We spend 14 years together. A whole life really. And I did definitely didn't save myself in this. I'm still heartbroken to have lost this person that I loved so much. Despite all the horrible things that he did, I still worry about him. My three year old hasn't even began to know how much he can hurt her by simply walking away from her. So I guess what I'm saying is be gentle with yourself. Pray for him and pray for you. God will open doors for you if you will let him. Go live your life and enjoy it. Again hugs to you and prayers for him.