Marie1960, I agree with everything you said, 100%! Wow!
And jlt33, I'm sorry you are hurting... It IS different than a regular breakup... and that worry you feel can overtake you if you're not careful. Since he is off working on him, all you can do is be proud if him, wish him well, and then get on with you. At least he helped define some things about yourself and what you're looking for. And also some things that you're NOT looking for...
Life will keep moving whether you move with it or not. I pray you take your loss and make it beautiful. In the meantime, big hugs to you and keep writing...