Oh karen! I'm so glad you're here and opening up about this!
Please know that there are other women here that have been in similar family situations, myself included, and you will get nothing but support from us! I understand the feeling of being beaten down and made to feel useless....like a non-person. But that's not truth. The truth is that you ARE a person deserving of respect and love, and a life free of booze and angry outbursts!
I want you to know that I believe in you and I believe you can quit drinking in spite of your situation.