Hi Jodie, so sorry to hear your painful story.
I can connect with your description of how you rage and feel so angry and have behaved in what almost seems like a crazy way as I too became like this. The fact is I am not crazy and nor are you but when in such a toxic and insane environment it is easy to lose ourselves and what we believe is right or wrong behaviour, and how we may have always behaved suddenly changes and this can be really scary.
I have always been some what hot headed but never to the point of physical acts, screaming and shouting and throwing things but I saw all of these things come out of me in the course of my relationship and more frightening not just towards him, but to a lesser extent towards others too. I felt like I had turned into some kind of crazy monster being in such a toxic relationship and environment. He had been brought up in a world where this kind of thing was the norm and a fairly commonplace way of communication but I hadn't, yet sadly I was slipping into it almost like it was. And it scared me. That's not who I am, and I'm sure that not who you are too but our emotions become so unmanageable this can happen.
Similarly, although I never met my partners dad I do believe from what I heard he was some what of a narcissist and these were traits that my partner had inherited, or grew up around and believed to be normal, but they were far from normal. Abuse is far from normal.
I too dealt with him sending vile and abusive messages of a personal nature to family member, constant threats and manipulation and had the police involved several times in the course of our relationship. This again is not normal behaviour but was the behaviour of a man trying to control and manipulate me through fear, if I wanted to walk away or had had enough his ego was bruised and he would lash out like a child. It's so very wrong.
It's not a question of whether you are too sensitive and self righteous it's simply that this person has and does behave in a way that is not good for you, or anyone for that matter, and you have both emotional and now physical proof of that. Whilst with my partner I lost so much weight, I would constantly feel ill, I got a trapped nerve, problems with my mouth and teeth, all these kinds of things can happen anyway but are so much more likely in such a high stress environment.
I'm so sorry you are hurting and I know it is so much more easier said than done but for the sake of yourself you need some distance between him and you, take care of yourself and try to figure out what is really best for you. I know it also seems like a waste when you have been with someone, taken them back, put so much more time and effort in but if you get out now then it will be painful but you won't have to look back in another 5 years time, potentially in a worse mental and physical state.
Sending you strength, you deserve so much better than this x