Dandylion,
That is a LOT of wisdom packed into a few words. I can't thank you enough. It sounds like you've been through the wringer, too, as I am sure that everyone else here has been.
I first posted in the New Members section of this forum and the advice that I got there was for al anon. There is a meeting tonight and I'm going.
I don't think I'm going to have to go through legal means to get him out. At least not yet. I said to him "I can't do this anymore" and he replied "So, I'm out." I said yes. We've had many, many talks before today. It is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make, but I know it's the right one. I agree that I'm going to need a ton of emotional support and counseling to get through this.
Even though he accepts that he is moving out, it won't be until he actually does that reality will sink in. I've decided to give him until his next day off, which is this weekend. If he doesn't move by that day and doesn't decide where he's going, I'll give him a choice of committing himself to a halfway house or jail. He's been to both of those places, so my guess is that he'll find a place, most likely a friend's couch.
If he does persist, I do know how to file a restraining order. I've had to do that in the past, but not for family. I'm so hoping it doesn't come to that.
Right now I feel so very broken.