It's possible that he has already relapsed and is trying to prepare you with these hints. If he is sick all the time, that is suspect. I was in a long distance relationship with my AXBF, and it was very hard for me to know whether he was using or not. My best advice is to focus on taking care of yourself, and identify some boundaries now in case he does relapse. Are you willing to be with someone who is actively using? Are you willing to move to a new place to be closer to a heroin addict? Like you, I grew up with alcoholics and as an adult chose a series of relationships with addicts. We learn patterns as children that can make for a lot of unhappiness later on if we don't find a way to break them. Are you in counseling? Have you been to al-anon? The best thing you can do right now is get yourself some support and let him handle his problem. Unfortunately, there isn't much we can do to get someone else to choose recovery.