From what you say, he is a very dangerous man. Google "Mosaic Threat Assessment" and you will find an on-line confidential questionnaire that is used by police departments, including the US Capitol Police in Washington D.C. to assess the potential of violence.
He is scary. He is threatening retaliation that is vindictive, illegal and unbounded. Calling a domestic violence help line will help you find a safe way to exit from this relationship.
And find some therapy for yourself with a therapist knowledgeable about domestic abuse victims. He has intruded deeply into your psyche, to the point of changing your behavior, and you need to get him out of your head. You need to return to your own code of behavior, reinstall your own limits on what you see as legitimate responses to stress and anger.
I went through a 20 year marriage with a husband who ended up alcoholic, porn addicted, narcissistic, sadistic and punitive. I let him isolate me and began to function within the orbit of his dysfunction. Now, two and a half years later, with lots of therapy and even more self reflection, I am free each day to be myself and grow into the best I can be. That is waiting for you, too.
We're here with you, and support you fully.