Yesterday was my son's 25th birthday. He lives in my house rent free. I drive him around, because he doesn't have a license. He is a chef and has 2 jobs, both of which are in the city and we live in the suburbs. He has a 5 yo daughter that doesn't live with us. He used to get her once a week. For the past several months, it's been once a month or less. He doesn't pay child support. He does pay his multiple fines.
I've told him before that if he gets drunk to the point of hurting someone, namely me or my other son, or destroying the house, he has to go. Last night he got that drunk again. He put a dozen holes in the walls of my basement, where he is living. When I tried to stop him, he started threatening me. My other son got him calmed down.
I can't handle this on my own. I can't live with him anymore. Yet, I don't have the strength for tough love and I worry about where he would go. He's alienated family and most of his friends. When he was younger I sent him to a boot camp, a half-way house, AA, Drug & Alcohol clinic and general counseling. He's been in jail for alcohol and drug related offenses more times than I care to count. I've tried to get him to get help when he's sober. He doesn't drink everyday, but when he does drink, he binges and often can't control himself.
I know that I'm a big part of the problem by letting him live here for free, providing him food and transportation to and from work. I also know that I need help in dealing with this. I no longer have the strength to deal with this.
A bit about me ...
I've been a single mom for 18 years. My son's dad moved out of state and started a new family. Other than a few visits and phone calls, he's not in the picture. 11 years ago I was diagnosed with a disabling illness. I've been in and out of the hospital and it's all I can do to keep going from day to day. We live in a house that used to be nice. It's getting destroyed. I've lost all of my friends, because they couldn't stand to see what I go through with my son. My family lives far away, except for my elderly mother who needs her own help. I'm her care giver.
I've got to get him out of my house. I can't help him anymore. I don't know where to turn. I don't know who I can call in my area that can help. I just know that I can't do this on my own any longer.
