Jodie77

I came to this site in 2013 desperate for answers, insight, and support. You all were a wealth of knowledge, love, and empowerment after having been dumped by my drug addict/alcoholic fiancé. I got myself into Alanon, read Codepenent No More, was in therapy, and I was healing. And then...he came back.

He was crying the blues, tail between his legs, going back to rehab, vowed to never hurt me again, and so the story goes. That was 2 years ago. And it's been hell.

For the last 2 years he has been to rehab twice, relapsed both times, and I've been standing by his side like an idiot. I now have invested 5 years in this man and I got dumped again. This time I was dumped because of my "anger issues." I do have to admit I am furious, fuming, angry, and rageful. I now throw things at him, break things, call him horrible names, and I retaliate. Big time.

I have 5 years of pent up anger due to: empty promises, broken dreams, blame, projection, criticism, emotional and verbal abuse, and multiple abandonments from him. Just to add here: this man is fully functioning, owns his own very lucrative business, is extremely attractive and well liked, has 3 children he puts through extremely expensive private schools, has all the material possessions you could want for and never misses a day of work. His excuse to me is "so what if I drink at night or during the weekends. So what if I do blow on the weekends. It's not a big deal. I run a company. I take care of my kids." I'm starting to think he is right. Maybe it ISN'T a big deal that he drinks or uses cocaine at 42. He's right in that it doesn't affect his career or children, etc. Maybe I'm just too sensitive or self righteous?

The latest was he sold his house so that the 2 of us could buy a home together; he also took out a 20k loan to get a reversal because he has a vasectomy and I am 37 and want a child of my own. This man is Greek and moved in with his mother while the home we were going to buy is being built. He cancelled his reversal as a result of my blowing up over something. I have been losing wads of hair as a result of stress.

He dumped me 2 days ago saying, "You're just too
weak right now and you're losing hair. We make each other miserable. You need help. I'm never quitting drinking because it's not a problem. If you would have just shut up you would have gotten everything you wanted. We make each other bad people by being together. Please get help."

Will someone, anyone make sense of this to me. Maybe it IS me and his issues aren't that severe. He has his entire Greek family enabling him and basically calling me crazy because I have a temper now.

Just need clarity because I am absolutely rocked and heartbroken. He was so cold and emotionless about breaking up with me like I meant nothing after 5 years.