Originally Posted by wpainterw

I did what you say you do. When asked why I drank I said, "Because of my sister's death, my nephew's death, my mother's death, my dad's death, my dog's death (always was able to replace the dog; new dog, still drank because old dog died, ashes on bookshelf, old collar hanging on wall; tail feathers in old show catalogue). Yes, I always drank "because..." PTS! Like the person who said, "I been in Sorrow's Kitchen and licked out all the pots!" "I drank because I could not change the past!" That's a real winner! Well, actually a guaranteed loser! Like saying I drank because when I howled at the moon the moon wouldn't howl back! What to do? Choose meetings (AA or otherwise) where you feel comfortable. Try Rational Recovery, Smart Recovery. Talk with counselors, Focus on parts of everyone's brain that is very often not the "friend" it purports to be (learn about the "lizard" part of the brain that wants you to drink and how to ignore it, cage it, keep it from ruining your recovery), seek out non drinking friends, exercise, live in the "Now"- not the past (which you cannot change) or the future, which you cannot predict. Focus on what you can change (stuff like yourself and other stuff you can do something about). If all your eggs break, make scrambled eggs. Good luck! W.