Hi mavrick
I hear your story and I know it well .. I have heard those things too and for good reason
My spouse was fed up as well ..
I do agree with Freeowl - your # 1 priority should be to get well, free yourself from these cycles of mayhem and hopefully the relationship issues will sort out in time.
Do call your doctor and find a meeting.
There is a great deal of sunshine waiting for you on the other side.
I know that for me sobriety has already completely changed the family dynamics in our house. I hope you find the same to be true for you. I'm rooting for you!