I just read through your post Mavrick and I can so relate. That feeling of lying in bed knowing you messed up, but not sure how bad. Stinking of booze and guilt, hearing a loved one seething with anger full of both passive and not so passive aggression. Knowing there is nothing you can do to change the past, but wishing badly that you could. The good news is you can change the future. Dig your heels in and put all your efforts in to recovery. I'm wishing you all the best. Keep your head up!