I'm proud of both of you! You're right, admitting you have a problem and can't control it is the first step! And the desire to be sober is soon after...and I want to be sober, don't you guys? You are right saudades...everything thinks of drinking but it's the fact that we don't actually do it. Like the RR says...."The beast doesn't control our fingertips" I just keep saying that to myself!