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When were you "ready"?

Old 01-03-2015, 08:34 PM
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When were you "ready"?

I keep thinking I want to quit...then I think "one more time, after this ___ special drink (imported beer, rare wine, etc.)..." I keep thinking "After this one special case, I'll stop." And my SO seems to think I can just lay off for awhile, then drink like a normal person. I'm a bottle of wine deep and want more, but we're all out. I absolutely won't drive to get more, but I know I'll be itching for the rest of the night. I just can't understand how people can stop comfortably after a few...
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Old 01-03-2015, 08:45 PM
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I think realizing that you will always want more after a bottle of wine shows that you know you have a problem? I am on my 3rd day with the mindset that I've giving up alcohol completely so I don't know if I have any wise words for you, other than that I know EXACTLY how you feel and I don't want it getting worse! Plus think how great it will be to be free from the chains of addiction!
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Old 01-03-2015, 08:58 PM
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I quit when I finally accepted that I won't be able to have "just a few". I tried every form of moderation I could come up with but always failed.
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:02 PM
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Thank you, leharris111 and ScottfromWI. It sucks doesn't it??? I know I have a problem, but so many of my friends are "normal" and laugh it off...which part of me appreciates, but the only friends I have who are really "in trouble" are heroin addicts with lots of money who will never really get better, so I can't really relate to them, but I'll keep trying...anyway, thanks for your help. I'll be around.
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:03 PM
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I actually should have quit long before I was ready.
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:04 PM
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It does suck! I want SO badly to be normal and be able to be a moderation drinker, but deep
Down I know that's not possible for me so giving it up completely is my only option. Have you checked out the rational recovery site? I liked it and it was relieving to hear that we can choose to be recovered right now...
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:06 PM
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I relapsed after having ten and a half months sober. While I was drinking I kept thinking "I'll just have one last (fill in the blank) before I quit again. But I started back to being as bad as I was before I quit the first time so I stopped again. And I never completed drinking through my list of "one last times". And I don't miss it. I never could stop after one. I would drink until it was gone and want more. I've never been able to moderate. So if you want support to quit, we are here.

I was ready when the pain of drinking outweighed the pleasure derived. By the end I was drinking only to keep withdrawal at bay. It wasn't fun anymore and was seriously impacting my life.
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:11 PM
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Ruby2, question for you- I AM ready, I decided that last night! But I read a post that someone else wrote about a sponsee in AA and the person thought the sponsee wasn't "truly" ready to give it up bc he thought about drinking in the future. I am not thinking about it like I am planning on drinking...I'm planning on not drinking but there is still some doubt that I can do it and some fear that I'm going to give in (terrified actually). This doesn't mean I'm not ready does it? I mean my desire is to live normally and not have an alcohol problem and that will never happen so that means my desire is to give up alcohol right? People are making me question my decision now and that scares me that I'm going to give in. Oh man....
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:12 PM
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Bc everyone says that if you aren't 100% ready you will fail. But that isn't helpful!!!!
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:12 PM
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Sorry if that isn't allowed here and not to freak anyone else out....I think I'm getting into my head too much...
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:14 PM
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Ruby2 and @leharis111, I'm probably not fit to comment, but who WOULD'NT be fit to comment here? The fact that that someone who "thought" about drinking isn't fit to comment upsets me...because I think about drinking all the time. Who doesn't?? We could all just walk or drive off and go to a bar right now..but the better of us don't.
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:19 PM
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Originally Posted by leharris111 View Post
It does suck! I want SO badly to be normal and be able to be a moderation drinker, but deep
Down I know that's not possible for me so giving it up completely is my only option. Have you checked out the rational recovery site? I liked it and it was relieving to hear that we can choose to be recovered right now...
I tried so many times like you leharris. Telling myself , ok I'll only drink on weekends or I'll only drink 4 days a week.... None of it worked and I continued to drink wine mostly every night ( a bottle) and every morning hate myself and say ...this is it, I'm done. It's not healthy! (What kind of role model am I to my kids?)
But by late afternoon I had already justified I can have wine again that night. I finally admitted to myself, I can't control my drinking and I'm an alcoholic. I wish I was one of the occasional normal drinkers, but I'm not. So, day 4 here i come! Happy to have you all to talk with.
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:23 PM
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One way to find out if you're ready is to give it a try.

I was at the point where trying to quit started looking like a possible solution. But I was addicted to alcohol--I needed to go to an in-patient (no-cost) detox. It's a good idea to see a doctor about quitting, but I would recommend that you go to the hospital if you feel illness or a physical need to drink.
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:26 PM
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Originally Posted by leharris111 View Post
Ruby2, question for you- I AM ready, I decided that last night! But I read a post that someone else wrote about a sponsee in AA and the person thought the sponsee wasn't "truly" ready to give it up bc he thought about drinking in the future. I am not thinking about it like I am planning on drinking...I'm planning on not drinking but there is still some doubt that I can do it and some fear that I'm going to give in (terrified actually). This doesn't mean I'm not ready does it? I mean my desire is to live normally and not have an alcohol problem and that will never happen so that means my desire is to give up alcohol right? People are making me question my decision now and that scares me that I'm going to give in. Oh man....
Don't listen to those friends!!! You are making them uncomfortable. True friends should respect your decision and want to help you.
My best friend became sober last spring. ... She hit rock bottom( we tried drinking young-13so stupid) anyway she ended up in hospital with pancreatitis and in rehab for almost a year. I supported her and would never talk her back into drinking nor when I was still drinking do it in front of her.
My point is true friends support you and want you to succeed in what's best for you. You already said you know you can't control your drinking, right?
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:37 PM
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I'm proud of you, @Anewyear
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:41 PM
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LH111....welcome to the site and happy new year.

Alcoholism is a nasty, progressive disease that will kill you if you let it. It always gets worse with time and never better. The notion that you need to reach a bottom that involves you lying in the gutter having lost everything to be ready is rubbish. You are ready when you say you are ready and when you are ready to give 100% to quit.

Most people make half hearted promises to quit and mean it at the time. But being ready means doing whatever it takes to quit FOREVER. Would you move to another country to quit? Change your friends? Break up with your partner? Quit your job? Of course its most likely that you won't have to do this but you will need to rebuild a sober life at almost any cost and you will have to do what you need to do to accomplish this. This is what people mean by being ready. You ready for that? Is so, I recommend you spend a week reading this site back to front and learn as much as you can and stop drinking immediately and don't drink while you do that. Good luck.
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Old 01-03-2015, 09:42 PM
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I'm proud of both of you! You're right, admitting you have a problem and can't control it is the first step! And the desire to be sober is soon after...and I want to be sober, don't you guys? You are right saudades...everything thinks of drinking but it's the fact that we don't actually do it. Like the RR says...."The beast doesn't control our fingertips" I just keep saying that to myself!
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Old 01-03-2015, 10:12 PM
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Like others, I tired moderation over the years. It didn't work, although I wanted desperately for it to work. For me, what has worked so far (and I'm new at this, a bit over three months) is to 1) commit to never picking up a drink again, no matter what ;2) make an action plan as to what I'm going to do when I feel like picking up a drink (stress and anger are my two big triggers); 3) plan ways, big and small, to take care of myself, so I'm not tempted to drink to numb or check out.

I'm not sure if I was ready in any kind of existential way when I quit: I have had for years an embryonic awareness that my drinking was a problem. I was tired of sleeping poorly and feeling anxious (the latter was caused primarily by my drinking, although I was drinking to try to ameliorate anxiety too). I see it as one of those fake it until we make it moments.Kind of like what we do when we have to do other things that maybe we're anxious about starting. The beauty of sobriety is that it feels so good after awhile and sticking with it is its own reward.

Sending you positive thoughts.
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Old 01-03-2015, 10:26 PM
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I had to reach some serious health problems before I was ready to actually stop. Makes me think of a car driving on flat tires. Then the tires shred off and you're driving on the rims with sparks flying. Then the rims fall off and you come to a stop.

Well I guess that was a little dramatic but I passed several very serious warning signs/occasions that should have made me stop, even a diagnosis from a dr. I drank a week later.

I actually stopped and stayed stopped when I simply could not take the daily hangovers anymore. And the diagnosis was always in the back of my mind. My health should return to 100% with complete abstinence.
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Old 01-03-2015, 10:55 PM
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I did not know when I was "ready" until after I stopped drinking.

No one needs to be "100% ready" for anything in order to succeed.
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