Hey, we've ALL been there--exactly where you are, now. Your alcoholic isn't unique. That's one thing alcoholics love to believe--that they are so DIFFERENT from all those other people out there. You know, the "weak" ones who have to go to AA or something.
When it comes to alcoholism/addiction, the path is pretty predictable, and so is the solution. That's why AA worked for more than the two drunks who came up with the idea back in the 1930s, and why it has spread all over the world.
In any event, if you read over your post, you can see him rapid-cycling through all the manipulations he has to try to convince you (as well as himself) that he is different, he needs you, if YOU would just change he could do it, it's all your fault, nobody understands him, he really MEANS it this time, you're breaking his heart, you're a worthless B, yadayada. Imagine it on a tape loop.
Hugs, trust me, you wouldn't have changed a thing by "communicating" better.