haven't been to SMART,
but can sure relate to your fear about going.
it was the same fear and knowledge what it would "mean" to go which propelled me to my first LifeRing meeting.
i knew i needed to go into a room of people who were there because of the same reason, and even if i said nothing, i needed to do this in order to acknowledge it on a different level to myself.
i had intended to say nothing.
ended up talking for 15 minutes. couldn't wait for the next one.
it's one of the toughest things i've ever made myself do.
and so very worth it.
so much positive came from it from making myself do that.
let us know how it goes.