SMART Recovery? Never been.

Old 01-02-2015, 04:01 AM
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SMART Recovery? Never been.

Hey, I was on here a few months ago and ended up slipping up and have spent the last few months in and out of binge drinking usually with a week or two in between benders.

I'm 4 days sober and really want to quit for good and doing it on my own never seems to work. My problem which I'm sure a lot of you can relate to is after a few weeks sober I always forget how bad it was. The first few weeks sober are always the easiest for me to not drink because I am so depressed and still full of shame and regret from the last blackout. But after a few weeks and I'm feeling good and I'm not hazy anymore I always start drinking again.

I was thinking about going to a SMART recovery meeting but I don't know what to expect and tbh I'm just kind of nervous and a little bit scared. I don't particular enjoy hanging out with strangers. It's not just social anxiety though, I can be social when I have to. Maybe I'm worried that once I go then I will finally have to accept I'll never be able to moderately drink. Idk.

I just wondering if any of you have gone to a SMART recovery meeting and what it's like. I'd like to check one out, I'm just very hesitant and slightly fearful of the unknown.
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Old 01-02-2015, 04:56 AM
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Just a group of recovering drunks talking in a group is what I've heard
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Old 01-02-2015, 05:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Exegesis View Post
Maybe I'm worried that once I go then I will finally have to accept I'll never be able to moderately drink. Idk.
The sooner you accept that, regardless of the recovery method you choose, the more likely the chance of success.
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Old 01-02-2015, 05:21 AM
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I went to SMART Recovery meetings for a while after I found that AA was not a good fit for me. I'm sure that meetings vary depending on the members and the facilitator but at the group I attended I found the atmosphere to be warm and supportive. The only thing I didn't like was the presence of a number of court-ordered DUI members who were indifferent and occasionally hostile to the group and the discussions.

I live in rural Arizona and thus had to drive over an hour to get to meetings in Tucson so I stopped going; the meetings were taking over four hours from my day including driving time. I never started through the workbook so can't comment on that other than it seems vaguely analogous to AA step work. Other attendees seemed to consider it central to their recovery.

At present, I rely on SR as a support network and the 24 Hour Club as a way to keep myself accountable, daily, for sobriety. So far, it's working!
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Old 01-02-2015, 05:21 AM
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Old 01-02-2015, 08:40 AM
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haven't been to SMART,
but can sure relate to your fear about going.
it was the same fear and knowledge what it would "mean" to go which propelled me to my first LifeRing meeting.
i knew i needed to go into a room of people who were there because of the same reason, and even if i said nothing, i needed to do this in order to acknowledge it on a different level to myself.
i had intended to say nothing.
ended up talking for 15 minutes. couldn't wait for the next one.

it's one of the toughest things i've ever made myself do.
and so very worth it.
so much positive came from it from making myself do that.

let us know how it goes.
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Old 01-04-2015, 01:19 AM
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Still haven't gone. Just got back to my city after visiting family for the holidays. I was wondering if any of you have stayed sober simply on your own, or just with SR. One of the main reasons I want to be sober is to have more time for writing and other artistic endeavours. I'm curious what your thoughts on keeping yourself sober are.
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Old 01-04-2015, 04:28 AM
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My only resource is SR and it has been absolutely critical to my not drinking. I stopped drinking nearly 17 months ago.
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Old 01-04-2015, 06:54 PM
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Funny that Ive not been on here in a while but I was actually looking into these type meetings today but like you Im not too sure about what to expect. I think Im going to try one - I guess in a way ten of us could go into a meeting and come out with completely different perspectives on it... if you see what i mean - I think you should maybe just go along to one and make your mind up if its something you could benefit you. Ive tried countless times as well to stay sober on sheer determination and it hasnt worked for very long. I dont drink daily anymore and I can say no but sometimes after a bad day or even if Im just feeling a bit meh I just run right back to it. So I do understand where your at. I think coming in here is enough for a lot of people but its most certainly a personal choice and everyone needs different tools in their box. I remember being told that its helpful to research all different programmes and pick out the bits that can help you. You dont need to pick just one method. You do however NEED to find what works best for you to keep you healthy and happy in life. I hope you give it a try Im off work on Friday and I plan to try one out if Ive got time so if I do make it this week I will come and let you know how I found it well done for addressing this issue - all the best
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Old 01-05-2015, 11:03 PM
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I'm currently reading rational recovery and posting on sr. I don't go to any meetings or have any other support. Xx
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Old 01-05-2015, 11:05 PM
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Old 01-10-2015, 10:02 AM
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I should get a new user name - In 'n Out - because that's what this alcoholic is all about! Thank you for this thread. I googled SMART and they have a bunch of meetings locally that I plan on attending. AA just doesn't do it for me and I cannot kick this alone. So happy I stayed on this mailing list when I fell off last time.

Day 4 this time around and feeling optimistic!
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Old 01-24-2015, 09:27 AM
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I've only been to a handful of SMART meetings - four different meetings (though one of them I went to several times). Of the four, they followed the same basic format, but of course they were a little bit different depending on the size of the group and the vibe of the people there. I found the meetings helpful, but they were all so far away from me that it was not practical to make them a regular part of my program.

I personally liked the format of the meetings. They were led by a trained volunteer facilitator who presented a topic (one or more of the SMART tools), and then the topic was open for discussion among the group (as opposed to most XA meetings, where you have your one moment to "share" or not). Often the facilitator would ask about problems that people in the group might be experiencing, and he/she would then use the example to show how one of the SMART tools would be used to work through the problem.

I would highly recommend checking out a meeting, even if you're not sure whether you want to quit for good or not. (And these meetings are open to all addictions, including behavioral-type stuff, so it won't necessarily be just alcohol/drug addicts.) I'm not a particularly social person, but I felt comfortable at the meetings I went to, and I certainly felt no pressure to start working the program or to "keep coming back" (or to do anything at all, for that matter).

I hope that helps, and good luck in whatever you choose to do. :-)
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Old 01-24-2015, 09:34 AM
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Not familiar with that. Good luck!
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Old 01-24-2015, 09:39 AM
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am I losing it? I just quote copied a post and it came up as 'Not familiar with that'. That's not what I copied. Had to back out...
I've been having a lot of trouble with the forum lately. Was this post edited since I copied it or something?
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Old 01-24-2015, 09:48 AM
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I edited my post. Maybe some sort of crossover issue.
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Old 01-24-2015, 11:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Exegesis View Post
I'm...sober and really want to quit for good...
Remember this! Write it down when you wake up in the morning, put it in a memo on your phone, email it to yourself, mail yourself a letter with this line in the note, put post-it notes on your mirror, refrigerator, in your car, leave a voice mail message on your phone with this statement, write it down before you go to bed, make it the last thing you're thinking about before you go to sleep...(get the picture?) Keep this thought first and foremost in you mind. Make it your mantra and then you will bring it into existence. Don't let anything else remove this concept from your head. You cannot fail if you remember and believe what you said here.
I'm betting on you because you'll do it.
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