I'm concerned that you feel that you should "end it" means you've considered taking your life. There is nothing in life so difficult or so daunting that makes suicide an attractive option despite our often formidable thoughts and feelings to the contrary. If there are times when you're serious about this, then your only choice is to get yourself to the emergency room. If you were to kill yourself, your children would be forever damaged by an unfathomable, irreversible act which affects many more people than you can ever know.
As for hypnosis, my sense and my experience is that it is most helpful only after a person has gotten sober in terms of avoiding relapse and other self-defeating behaviors.