Somehow
I first joined this forum many years ago. I don't even remember what my user name was. I was sure that I was on the brink of getting sober. I was going to live a happy and productive life.
That was at least 8 years ago, and the longest stretch of sobriety I've been able to string together since then was 11 days.
At the time, I didn't think I would live to see 30. Now I'm 35, and I CAN NOT keep living like this.
It has been a long time since I felt this serious about getting sober, but I just can not stop. I have tried AA... I don't think it is for me... I am not religious at all, and I know that isn't a requirement, but... it's kind of an unspoken one that I just can't reconcile with.
I went to a few meetings back years ago, and I felt more compelled to drink after going. I don't know what I can do different.