Thank you everyone for the comments so far!!
Yesterday I talked to my therapist for a long while and I decided that yes, for sure I shouldn't go to the party. I'm still afraid I might be convince somehow, but nope... I want to stay home. I am going to do my best to have an enjoyable night in.
I still haven't decided if I should watch any countdown at midnight, or go the other route and do a quiet, spiritual thing at that time. At the winter solstice I sat outside in the snow and I went through the last year, my intentions for the coming year, meditated a bit, prayed, etc. I could do something very spiritual and meaningful this year.
But the time leading up to that, I will have as much fun as possible. I have to remember that if I stay home, it won't be a big glitzy party and if I'm trying to recreate that at home, I might be disappointed. But, it can still be enjoyable! And I can still wear sparkles...
But about the countdown at midnight. I do miss the fun of it all, but, watching it online or on TV... perhaps it will make me feel so depressed? Like I am outside looking in? I don't know. Hmmm....