Hi bebetter... Your post resonated with me. My pattern was the same as yours nightly for years and now it is better, but far from perfect. I do know from experience that it takes time and it is very uncomfortable in the beginning, but you can get to the point where you create new habits and routines for yourself and it gets easier not to drink in the evenings. I know I am so much of a better mother when I'm not shutting myself down with wine at night and waking up with physical and mental anguish in the morning.
Just take it one night at a time, go to bed as early as your kids allow you to, and take it easy on yourself. If the house gets a little messy, so be it. If you are hungry, eat. Come on Sr when you are tempted, it amazes me how much my perspective can change from just reading sometimes.
You will get stronger with each passing day.
You are definitely not alone and I know you can do this. Hugs to you
