Notices

Starting over again

Old 12-29-2014, 09:17 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 167
Starting over again

Hi everyone. My drinking has increased over the past few months after going a few weeks sober. I have been reading everyone's posts, but haven't wanted to comment because I am so aggravated with myself. I feel sick all the time and I look terrible to boot. I'm tired and not giving my kids the full attention they deserve. I start drinking at night again to "feel better" and get things done. Next thing you know,I have drank half of a large bottle of wine and a few beers on top of it. My kids are wonderful and they have no idea what I am doing to my body. I cant seem to break the habit of drinking after work. I'm determined to change my life for the better. Thanks for reading.
BeBetterforkids is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 09:38 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
forabetterlife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Hi bebetter... Your post resonated with me. My pattern was the same as yours nightly for years and now it is better, but far from perfect. I do know from experience that it takes time and it is very uncomfortable in the beginning, but you can get to the point where you create new habits and routines for yourself and it gets easier not to drink in the evenings. I know I am so much of a better mother when I'm not shutting myself down with wine at night and waking up with physical and mental anguish in the morning.

Just take it one night at a time, go to bed as early as your kids allow you to, and take it easy on yourself. If the house gets a little messy, so be it. If you are hungry, eat. Come on Sr when you are tempted, it amazes me how much my perspective can change from just reading sometimes.

You will get stronger with each passing day.
You are definitely not alone and I know you can do this. Hugs to you
forabetterlife is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 10:18 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Do your best
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi BBFK you could write down every reason why you shouldnt drink and then you will see your acceptance

in the meantime stick close to SR keep reading and keep posting

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
Soberwolf is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 10:22 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
Hi BBFK you could write down every reason why you shouldnt drink and then you will see your acceptance
While you're at it, you may also want to make a list of the reasons you should drink. The stark contrast between my two lists was a real eye opener.
Nonsensical is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 10:36 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Suzieq17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 424
Your story sounds so familiar to mine! After a long stressful day at work, alcohol was my reward for the day. After I left my job to stay home with the kids, it was my reward for dealing with the kids all day. My only thought, above all else, was for my addiction.

Stay strong, and stay committed. I am 9 days sober and I am taking it one day at a time.

You can do this!
Suzieq17 is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 10:51 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by BeBetterforkids View Post
My kids are wonderful and they have no idea what I am doing to my body.
My guess is they do know actually. As alcoholics we fool ourselves into thinking that no one notices, that we "hide" it well, or that we are "high functioning". But in reality, they know. Even if they don't actively see us drinking....they see the after affects. Why is mommy/daddy always so cranky in the morning and smell so funny? Why does mommy/daddy talk funny at night?

Point being, we need to make the change for ourselves first. And the results will be of benefit to everyone around us as well.

Out of curiosity, what were you doing for support during the initial sober time that you had? Is there something you could add to it or change? Simply "not drinking" didn't work for me...i needed help.
ScottFromWI is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 01:26 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 167
I used this site for support, but really nothing else. Sticking to a plan worked well for me .....if I don't have a plan for every evening , then I fall apart and my mind takes over. I put myself in a situation I wasn't ready for and I totally caved. I don't have the will power and I am too ashamed to tell people about my problem right now.
BeBetterforkids is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 01:30 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
jryan19982's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
While you're at it, you may also want to make a list of the reasons you should drink. The stark contrast between my two lists was a real eye opener.
Bingo. I did this and had 20 some odd positive for quitting, and only a handful of negatives to quitting drinking. It really hit home.
jryan19982 is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 02:22 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by BeBetterforkids View Post
I don't have the will power and I am too ashamed to tell people about my problem right now.
Sounds like a conundrum to me. How about starting by admitting to yourself that you have a problem. And that you'll never be able to fix it simply by using willpower? Where you get your help can be determined later....but until you admit the problem you'll never fix it.
ScottFromWI is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 02:32 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by BeBetterforkids View Post
.....if I don't have a plan for every evening , then I fall apart and my addiction takes over.
Fixed your post.

Your mind is posting here. Your mind is fully aware that you have a problem with alcohol. Your addiction has other plans.

I have a voice in my head that tells me I should try drinking again. I need to drink to feel better. I can control it this time. It's the voice of my addiction to alcohol.

It's a liar and a thief. It steals the man who wants to be a great Dad and replaces him with a guy who passes out on the couch or under the coffee table. I quit taking advice from a known liar and I got to be who I wanted to be again. I highly recommend it.
Nonsensical is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 02:36 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You can stop. You can save your own life and your childrens' childhoods.

Only you can do it.

This site is a good start. At least pour out the rest of the alcohol in your house.
biminiblue is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 04:22 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 167
There is no booze in the house. I know I have a problem, Scott, but I struggle with wanting to quit and saying it out loud to people (I'm sure they all know it) I know I want to right now but after a few weeks sober my addiction tells me that it isn't really a problem because I had that self control. Thanks for fixing my post Nonsensical. I'm amazed at how it controls so much. I'm doing good tonight. Hung out with my son and drank my lemon cucumber water. Thanks for all of the encouragement and advice.
BeBetterforkids is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 05:31 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by BeBetterforkids View Post
I struggle with wanting to quit and saying it out loud to people
I don't think saying it out loud is really necessary. What's important is saying it to yourself and meaning it. And accepting the problem. Once you've done that you can make a plan to live sober every day. For some that does involve going to meetings and announcing your addiction, but that is only ONE way of going about it. There are many others.

Congrats on doing well to tonight, don't be afraid to come here as often as you need to in order to get through today.
ScottFromWI is offline  
Old 12-29-2014, 08:48 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Ruby2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I'd say start reading and posting here more often until you get a plan fully in place. If you go sober a few weeks and then relapse because you're thinking you have self control, I'd suggest reading your earlier posts that brought you here as a reminder. One thing stuck out to me in your post. You drank because you thought you had self control but before you said that, you posted "my drinking has INCREASED" since the few weeks you were sober.

Shake up the plan a bit. Forabetterlife really has some great suggestions. I was that kind of drinker at night too. It's hard to break that deadly evening routine. But with some work, you can. For you and for the kids. believe me, they know something is up even if they can't verbalize it. Mine did.

But you can do this. One day at a time. In the beginning it helped me to think that I could drink tomorrow if I wanted, but just for today, I won't drink. And then repeat that to myself in the morning, today I won't drink. Just for today.
Ruby2 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:25 PM.