Katchie,
Years ago I posted because when I was very angry about my husband not drinking. Our situations were a little different, but very similar too. One post in particular was so helpful to me. It was about not being obligate to make choices based on what he does. I'm going to paste the link here so you can read the whole post. I'm not sure if it will resonate with you or not but I still go back and read it sometimes. Thinking of you....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2337021