Originally Posted by
zoso77 
It is very, very difficult for me to be dispassionate about this. And I also don't know what sort of environment I'm heading into when I get down there.
What I'm probably going to do is listen to what my brother and his wife are saying and see if they're in the zip code they should be. If they're not, then I have a decision to make as to what to say and how to say it...
As a parent of a 23 YO who has been an addict for years I am going to go out on a limb and say they are probably not in the right zip code just yet....
That being said, I'm glad they have you....it will help, and you will know what does and does not need to be said.
I will never forget a few years back finding out my nephew (who lives across the country with his dad, my brother in law) had the same addiction as my son. My son was in rehab and serious legal trouble when my brother in law came to visit. My husband and I were devastated and while my husband shared with his brother what we were going through, my brother in law NEVER ONCE acknowledged what his own son was going through. He listened to my DH pour his heart out (well, as much as he does, anyhow) and said NOTHING about his own son. We only found out later on from our nephew himself, who explained that his dad doesn't want anyone to think his life was less than perfect.
Sorry, but I now see my brother in law in a totally different light, and part of me will never forgive him for not being there emotionally for my DH when he knew damn well what it was like to go through this. Don't get me wrong, if our son had not been an addict, I totally understand (and respect)my brother in laws right to privacy and keeping it to himself, but to sit there an listen to my DH talk about our son, and to offer NOTHING is unfathomable to me....
OK, rant over........do what you feel in your heart.....you will know........
Good luck and will say a prayer for your niece as she battles this Fu@king Demon!!!