Courage- you do sound like you know what you are talking about even though you don't think it yourself
I will stay in the moment and enjoy it for what it is without getting too concerned about what 'might' be.
In answer to your earlier post, no I don't have anyone I can talk to. Only him and you on here. As I moved a couple of years ago all my friends are relatively new and I don't disclose my past. Of course, they know I don't drink but I do not go into detail.
I honestly thought I had gone past the 'difficult' stage . This just shows maybe it never really goes away.