Lily, I think that the feedback you are getting here is out of concern and not meant to attack you. The people on this board have lots of experience with addiction. Many have dealt with addicted loved ones, many are recovering addicts themselves. If you are getting the same feedback from us and from family members who love you, it might be because we are able to see that you are really putting yourself at risk. Sometimes that's hard for people to see about themselves in the middle of a crisis--in a crisis we sometimes go into emergency mode and act without thinking things through. From the things you have said, it sounds like you are thinking about what you will and won't "allow" him to do, but it's easier for us on the outside to see that you really are not in control of his actions. And you are offering a lot of excuses for the fact that he is actively using, that he needs it to get through, etc., but it's easier for us on the outside to see that he is using because he is an addict and that's what addicts do. I hope you will find a way to get out of this situation. I'm sorry to say this, but you are not powerful enough to help him, and this situation is putting you in danger of all sorts of terrible consequences. He is not safe because he's staying with you. He is still using, could still OD, etc.