wanttobehealthy

So, is at all anyone else's experience that as you get healthier you find yourself more and more alone?

I have virtually zero tolerance for codependent bs from even close friends.

I have no tolerance for anything that even hints at having a drinking issue (Im talking even joking about social drinking-- it's amazing how people joke about drinking constantly).

And Im finding myself lonely because even my very closest, best friend who is more a sister to me than my own blood sister ever was, is just entrenched in one codependent relationship after another and I can't deal with it.

I know that I am being a hypocrite, I am trying to not judge her because I see her being me not too many years ago. But I am also seeing first hand why it is that people in my own life drifted away from me when I was like that.

I felt I was the victim back when friends left me high and dry but in hindsight, a hard truth to swallow is that fact that my endless whining about xAH without ever doing anything to change my circumstances MUST have made me a major pain in the ass to listen to and be around.

Right now I cant stomach for another minute of listening to my best friend talk about how badly her bf treats her and then the cycle starts.... He is a jerk, he gives her the silent treatment, she gets mad and says she's not tolerating it anymore, I support her, he gets in touch a few days later, makes all sorts of apologies, she minimizes his BS behavior (which is "never all that bad" and never hitting or yelling-- just a lot of emotional abuse crap-- that is her take) and goes back to him.

She doesnt want to be alone, she pretends to want to be strong with him but she tolerates the VERY behavior she lectured me about NOT tolerating with xAH.

I have told her how I feel, told her that her bf's behavior is upsetting, alarming and that I dont live her life but seeing her on a constant rollercoaster is upsetting.

She prefers to continue this dance with him vs be alone. That is the bottom line.

And it is going to mean the end of our friendship because I cant stomach it anymore.

Ive already distanced myself. I feel loss, sadness, hurt, grief... We have talked many times a day, daily for the last 2 years and she is my closest friend ever.

But I cant take the constant drama of the men issues in her life that she wants to complain about and do nothing to change.

She left her old bf for this new one and goes from jerky man to jerky man.

Am I wrong to be fed up?

Have any of you been in this situation, where as you set limits for healthy relationships in your own life, you find yourself lonely and losing relationships?

I am really down about this today as I said some blunt, honest things to my best friend this weekend about the latest with her bf and conversation has been strained at best since then...

It feels awful but I know it is healthy....

I just feel very confused.