You are not pathetic! Look at what you did after drinking. You could still be drinking now. Instead, you are here, posting about it, looking for support and for help. That's great! It seems like the majority of us drunks relapse, it sucks, but it's something we need to just learn from and use the knowledge to help you make it stick this time.
I know that what happened to you is something I have to watch out for. I know at some point I'll think I'm "cured" and can have a drink like a normal person. I'm a drunk, I can't have one. Having one doesn't exist.
In any event, you are here, your are processing what happened instead of trying to forget it. Create your new plan and get back to living. Relapse sucks ass, but it doesn't take away the time you were sober. You couldn't been drunk that whole time but you weren't!!!
Stay strong and reach out. This forum is awesome. I'm going to continue taking massive advantage of it.
Donny