Thanks Lexie. My son did have a long conversation with RAH about why he didn't like to be around him when he was drinking. RAH would repeat himself a lot, would get overly sentimental or would be hyper critical. I think our son knows that if Dad starts to drink again, another round of withdrawal might actually prove to be fatal. Even if it isn't, none of us want to live through that horrible experience again.
I also think you are right-I don't want to become the police of his actions. He needs to do that on his own.