Thank you to all posters.
I am hopeful that we can overcome this together. Perhaps as Gracie Lou points out his disease had not progressed to the point of no return yet. He was very highly functioning and no one around us ever suspected that he was a problem drinker. Perhaps his body had a higher degree of dependency than his brain did. He is a kidney transplant recipient (13 years ago) who is on a lot of meds, so maybe that added to the severity of his detox.
He does appear to be doing this for himself-he wants to be there to walk our daughter down the aisle some day, and be there for them as a stronger father.
He also does not want everyone to change around him. He said it would make him feel awful if family members feel like they can't drink in front of him during the Holidays, including me, as he says it does not bother him to see others drinking. He thought about getting O'Douls for the Holidays but when we read that this is not good for A's he decided not to and will stick with straight soda or iced tea. He really seems to be strong. We'll see how the next two weeks go, as we will be around alcohol.
He wants to help me to regain trust-and is willing to do whatever it takes. He mentioned getting a breathalyzer so that I can test him if I ever suspect him of drinking-has anyone done this?
I know that I can't make him stay sober-he has to do it for him. I will follow advice and take it one day at a time, and pray a lot! I think that is what I am struggling the most with-the knowing that this is totally out of my control.