L- I am so happy for you that your husband is sober. But his sobriety has really nothing to do with you. You need to work your program. You have lived with an A for a very long time and obviously your son has been affected by his dads drinking. There is things like the trust issues that you need to learn to forgive him some how.
The problem if he doesn't work a program is, he becomes a dry drunk. He will become the person he was but just not drinking. He doesnt make amends for all the things he has put the family through over the years, or have support from non drinkers it might be harder for him to stay sober. Look on the A forum and see all the A's reaching out because they want to drink. I believe A's are born A's. I think that once he sees you getting help through alanon or SR then maybe he might reach out for help. You also can both go to an open AA meeting where just one person speaks, you just listen.
Have you ever talked to your oldest about what his father has done around the house when you werent there. Your whole family could use some kind of therapy, alateen or alanon. I don't want to open up a can of worms but just because an A stops drinking the problems don't just disappear.
Good luck and enjoy your sober husband, I am jealous!!