You've been through a lot recently Law! Welcome to SR. Catherine's reading suggestion is wise.
Some indeed do make a big change following a huge scare like your H. But you are the one feeling a little out of sorts and worried. I wonder if a counselor would help you just as an outlet to review the frightening outcomes of routine surgery and how his drinking was so hidden and had so many frightening consequences. I'd get a counselor with expertise in codependency and addiction.
I recommend Al Anon too. But you might find both resources together will really help you work on you.
I hope you check out a lot of threads here. I hope your H continues a healthy recovery!