Sorry FM that you are joining us, but Welcome. You have come to the right place. I am sorry that your having so many issues with your partner. We have all been there as we all love an Addict.
The best thing that you can do for yourself is try and hit some alanon meetings or an open AA meeting. They are so helpful. Keep reading SR as there is so many people who have walked in your shoes.
The best thing you can try to do is detach and allow your partner to do her thing. You need to work on your short comings and better yourself. We all would love to read that piece of paper that says "how do we get our alcoholic sober"?? But, there is none, or we wouldn't all be here. What we want for our significant other really doesnt matter, as if it did, they would be sober already.
Read, read and read more. Take your time, you don't have to make any decision today. Good luck and reach out if you have any more questions as the people here are more than amazing!!