FreeMe1

Hi all, I just joined your site and want to give you my intro.

Whew, where to begin?! First, my 18 year relationship is ending. For the past 15 years my partner and I have shared a home we equally invested in (50/50 on the mortgage, deed, etc.).

Honestly, I’m not sure if it’s due to her being an alcoholic or having some type of personality disorder, or both. No doubt alcohol is a factor; she is a mean drunk. But there are also personality issues I’ve questioned for many years. Regardless, I got sick and tired of the emotional and verbal abuse, the silent treatment, the blaming, gas lighting, projection, lack of interest in taking care of our house, etc.

We went to couples counseling for 6 months. This was a counselor my partner selected, based on some recommendations. My partner believes she has an alcohol problem. The counseling didn’t help at all, and in fact seemed to make things worse. What’s really surprising is that the counselor is an “addiction specialist.” I tried really hard with the counseling. My partner would say one thing during the sessions, and then come home and give me the silent treatment again, or say she was “hurt” because of things I said during the session and shut me out and be mad.

From reading your site and others, SO many things are clicking. Doesn’t fix my pain, but I know that must come from within me.

I’ve got a LOT more I’d like to share, but want to keep this brief for now so I don’t scare anyone off, LOL.

I believe Al-Anon is a very good next step for me. Would love to hear other’s input.

Thanks much!