Put simply, you are NOT a therapist. Even if you were, you would not be treating your own husband. It doesn't work and he is likely to resent it in time. If not already.
You are NOT skilled enough to manage yourself and others. Your sobriety is VERY new and your brain is still healing and will continue to for the next year or so IF you don't relapse. There is not a chance in this world you are able to manage another person the way you think you can.
You do NOT have a strong foundation yet. You haven't worked through all the steps, you are not focussing on yourself, you don't have a sponsor and you are very new in recovery.
Have you talked to people in AA yet about managing your husband and his family and their communications? What do they think?
There are people here and in AA who have years and years of sobriety and years of recovery from codependency. It's just possible that they might know a thing or two.